bye bye.

5th of january, 2011. i got zero new year resolution, all that i wish for is to start this year with a smile and surely hoping the very best for me. but shit do happens all the time. when you think all the bad stuff is fading away and you keep that positive thoughts all the time, but in the end all you get is heartache, a really bad one indeed.

///the last entry is about someone who i accidentally fall in love with, this one is about the person too.

since the person told me that he's leaving his current job and soon will be working near his hometown, there's a voice inside my head telling me that i should tell my feelings towards him,  and i made up my mind that i seriously should, on his last day working which is next week. mase tueh ape na jadi, jadilah. i just need to shout it out because i couldn't lie to myself anymore.

tapi Allah masih sayangkan aku lagi. in God's will, He showed me today that the person was not meant for me.

something happened today and it urge me to ask him, umm about his feelings. and he admit that he's already in a relationship with someone else....for almost 2 months now. funny, i remember that last month i used to ask him about his current status, and he kept saying he's single. well, i must say...thank you so much for breaking the trust i have in you. i'm not sure that i'll be able to trust anyone again in the near future.

now here i am feeling like such a super duper loser and at the same time wondering why am i always ended up with a jerk. really, thanks for nothing.

to my dear friends who will be reading this soon or most probably you are reading this right now, please don't ask me about this stuff straight to my face. i am so not good at face-to-face conversation. seriously, i'm not. so do be kind to me please, ehhe =))

p/s: moving on and no more looking back this time.